Men are the worst pretenders you will ever find in this world. Should we say that they are sort of Al-shabaab? the kind that will always send that thin cold sweat down our spines? Am a man and I do not refute that but then, if it were possible to change gender, I would BOLT like a prisoner of war having saved himself. The big question; what makes men such bad persons? Or are they? I believe that I will trigger a debate on this given that men will always have this huge-ego. Surely, it will not allow them to take such an insult lying down. It is therefore for this reason, this fear of persecution by fellow men that I would like to urge the Kenyan government to line me up in the witness protection program. I believe, according to the high profile witness accounts that I have, should be treated with equal measure like my good buddies who are willing to of course, fly to the Hague, and help in building the nation selflessly. For the meantime, I will welcome the good offer by the government with an open heart. Mark my words, I am being offered a gun. For those who want to dare me, am fully armed and, I know karate, Judo, Kung-Fu, and several other dangerous words.
Ever tried to find out what takes place in men's kamukunjis? If only you knew. It is a matter of fact that men are the best gossipers you will ever find in this God forsaken earth. There now ladies, you can comfort yourselves. The first secret is out. It is not actually the well-polished art of gossiping that make men sort of the wizards of gossip, the content is actually the central pole. First, it is commonplace to hear men talking of how their female counterparts are "kids", todlers for that matter. For most men, this is usually the first agenda( it comes before the prayers). What follows after women have been declared toddlers? The declaration being the skeleton, the flesh is then attached. The most interesting thing about operation flesh attaching is that men have uniformed phrases that they will employ to achieve their desired goal. It is very normal to hear of phrases such as "women are like little babies. They do not know what they want. But they get to be fooled with a bar of candy. What fools!" another one will go on to say; " Is it even a wonder to find a WHOLE lawyer married to a makanga? That madam can defend the worst of criminals such that they walk scot-free but when it comes to matters of the bedroom, believe you me, she is a nursery school kid." It is grotesque isn't it? Wait until you here of how they describe their female counterparts in terms of "geograpy"
It is undoubtedly that women have a good geography. Most of the times, the men will admire it. But do not be fooled. Each "hill" and each "lake" situated in the scope of the geography under scrutiny has to undergoe rigorous study. then statement such as " Some women are like billboards. Wait a minute! billboards are even better. These ladies are so flat, to and fro such that you would think that they are ironed every morning." another one will add his point "I believe that some must have grudges with their maker. It is not common that their maker decided to withdraw such crucial benefits. By God, am even curvacious than some people we know."
Ladies, let it not worry you when your man calls you certain undermining names. It is in their genes. You guys are better than them. Men are infact women. they are crybabies but will always pretend to be strongwilled. This is because they will always cry when having a bath, so that their tears will always be well disguised. I even believe that men should start wearing skirts. Besides, their anatomy will back me. Or am I lying? Well, if you men want to be treated with respect, respect your female counterparts first. Understood?
MUTIE OSCAR GHITTO
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