LET A GO

Letting go can be a painful yet necessary part of life.

And letting go can also result in feeling free

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength.

However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

Forgiveness means letting go of the past.

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past,

but you will find yourself

Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind

and helps restore our balance.

It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands

off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open.

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past;

letting go is knowing that there’s a future.

We need to learn to let go as easily as we grasp

and we will find our hands full and our minds empty.

Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore.

It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself

You will find that it is necessary to let things go;

simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.

I tie no weights to my ankles

If people refuse to look at you in a new light

and they can only see you for what you were,

only see you for the mistakes you've made,

if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.

We can't be afraid of change.

You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in,

but if you never venture out of it,

you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea.

Holding onto something that is good for you now,

may be the very reason why you don't have something better

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.

You don’t need strength to let go of something.

What you really need is understanding.

The truth is, unless you let go,

unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation,

unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward

Incredible change happens in your life

when you decide to take control of what you do have power over

instead of craving control over what you don't
 People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
But you have to forgive yourself.
 Let go of what’s bitter and move on.

 Esther Wavinya

THE THOUGHTS OF MURDERERS

One day I will kill someone.
I will stab someone, so that I can see how his blood looks like.
Have you ever seen the sight of blood? Romantic. Isn't it?
It is way too romantic to be ignored. See?
I will cut someone's throat. I am always fascinated by seeing chopped flesh.
Do you know why I will kill someone?
Its because am a murderer. See?
Am a murderer. I kill people, especially the innocent ones.
Why the innocent ones? Oh! they are an easy catch. Vulnerable.
Plus they attract attention. you see, I love attention just like a fish loves water.
Can you blame a fish for loving water? Then how can you blame me?
It is not my fault that I kill people. It is in fact your fault. For not paying attention!
But don't even think of paying attention now. It was the unconditioned stimulus
See the good of going to school? You use difficult terms and alot of people don't catch the meaning.
Fortunately, I schooled up to university. Which subjects you ask? The Charles Darwin thing. Understand?
And English by the way. Literature to be more precise. The art of manufacturing things like this. see?
Thats why I love sophisticated things. Let me finish this later. I have a "goat" to slaughter right now.


  Mutie Oscar Ghitto

IN THE FIELDS by Mutie Oscar Ghitto

(The moon is shining, washing everything in its queenly light. The night is still young, and a young couple is thriving under the moon, biting the fruit of their love. When you look at their faces, you are sure to see that when you are in love,time becomes timeless. The conversation has been born between the couple, John and Stacy.)

JOHN: (letting Stacy rest her head on his chest. He is caressing her Hair. Their eyes are held) I do not know what is beautiful. Is it the night or is it the moon?

STACY: I know what is beautiful. The most beautiful of all things is the being. The being who accords another a place in their soul, you can be sure am staring right into his eyes.

JOHN: I wanted to say that the moon is beautiful, because you are my moon. But you got me. There is no reason to force lines.

STACY: (Kissing him. such a gentle kiss) No need my love. No need for words, let our hearts do the talking, let our souls marry. Isn't it wonderful to sit back and feel everything falling into its place? I realize that today is the best night that I will ever have.

JOHN: (Adjusting his color. Emotions are getting the better of him.) Sometimes I feel as if am drowning in a deep sea of illusion. Sometimes I look at you and begin to wonder. How come I call you my love? I am yet to come in terms with reality. If it ever exists.

STACY: (looking amused) Why?

JOHN: Love. I have never imagined whether you would ever be mine, but here we are. How can you explain it? You, lying so comfortably on my chest, the soft breeze awakening our skin, the moon even seems brighter than the other days. I tell you my love, it is a miracle to me.

STACY: A miracle it is. I will let known to you a secret of my heart. A sad secret indeed. You see, I used to loathe you. I abhorred your behavior. I did not like the way your were. You being so weak and vulnerable made my blood rush to the head. I hated you.

JOHN: Yet you loved me. I can see it in your pretty little eyes,how watery they can become. I know you loved me.

STACY (Rising up, making John to wake up too. They are taking a stroll) I loved you? I do not know whether what I had for you could really be called love. It was utterly absurd. I mean, sometimes I could look at you with admiration, wishing that you were mine, only to loathe you the next minute. Talk about being confused. But here we are now, the past is laughing with us, for I surely Imagine it wanted us to be happy. We are happy. Aren't we?

JOHN:(Taking Stacy's hand) I know I shall tell a tale, years to come. A tale of two hearts that were in love and could not let go each other. Why don't we hold each other's arms and become careless this night. To smell any flower that we can lay our hands on, to trek in the fields and let our hands feel the soil. Why don't we play in the moon, and remind ourselves of those childhood memories? C'mon my love

(They pull each other and begin to play. It is the best sight you could ever want to see. Two beings in love. That is in itself a mystery. For how can we understand love? Its root, who can uproot them? Its heights, who can soar them?, Its brength?, who can explain it? Love is such a wonderful experience)

The unwanted Experience

 

This particular Saturday morning James was in turmoil,His heart was heavy, and he had been melancholy since the previous night. He wanted to concentrate on the movie he had put to help him forget what was happening in his world but he couldn’t as there was something in his heart that couldn’t allow him. He was always looking at life with hope now he was looking at it with abhor. He sat at his favorite couch staring at the ceiling hoping it could explain to him what love,life and lust are.

“How could I mess up this much?

“How could I break the vows I consciously made to me?”

“Is there any hope left?”

The reality of his pastors words dawned on him, “You can control your choices but never can you control the consequences of your choices.” He understood this intuitively hitherto

James a spontaneous guy was a drop dead gorgeous and gregarious man in his early thirties who dressed in height of fashion. His choices for fragrance was among the best in the market as he left every room and office he entered suffused with his sweet yet lemonish scent He also allured those around him with his energy and humor. He was a man of the people as he could interact with people from all walk of life hence a charismatic leader amongst his peers. Life was doing him justice as having worked for six years he felt he had reached at the zenith of his carrier. He had achieved most of his heart desires hence had a very good reason to be an apparently happy man -a good fiancee Elizabeth whom he was to marry in a few months having engaged her,paid the dowry now planning the big wedding. He had bought a house which was ultra-modern decorated and furnished with handsome sofa sets,tables and rags. The decorating schemes was three starling colors blended together pleasantly. This is where him and Elizabeth would call a home after walking her down the isle. James was happy to be in love as he believe the notion that when you are in love things begin to make sense.

“I am pregnant James?”

This words coming from Eunice who was his side chick ,hitting him in the solar plexus,agape and was lost of words .

“She is pregnant...... she is pregnant.... .”These words played in his mind repeatedly over and over again,trying the phrase on ,like a new dress to see how it fitted. He wanted to let the words in as he was still in a dilemma.

“How can I get in a situation when am almost going to settle down with a woman I love,Elizabeth who is an intelligent lass,has standard and knows where she is going..A woman who is able to have awareness of not only herself but of her man.”

He felt physical shame and self loath

“Eunice can never be an ideal woman,she can never make a good wife. She is just a careless creature with Sorry-shabbily coiled weave.'' he thought aloud almost hysterically

The universe now had conspired to make him pay for his lustful desires. These bitter accusations might have been suppressed, had he, with greater policy, concealed his lustful struggles and patiently await for the day Elizabeth would join him in their matrimonial home. He wished he could be anywhere else and anyone else but not Here and Him. For the first time he hated himself with a passion.

James laid on the couch for along time. He struggled with the so many voice in his head on how to deal with the circumstance at hand. He cursed himself for letting the agenda for lust take over his agenda for his well planned life. He regretted for not having seen this coming the day he met Eunice at the local pub and got allured by her sexy legs which she had crossed very lady like, however it offered him a view of the thickness of her thighs underneath that pencil skirt. He envied that shirt she wore with the modest neckline who's only function was to cover a curvy and delicious form. Eunice was tempting that night making James have exaggerated image of her in the mind. Really men are visual. In a span of seconds he had undress her. James was drooling and he had to go approach this lady sent from heaven. He was not thinking straight at all when his eyes met Eunice eyes. The deal was sealed as the eye contact suggestively entwined their souls and welcomed each other and the rest is history.

Its been two years now since James and Eunice met,they had been able to conceal their intimacy and Eunice was okay being the chick on the side having ratified in her heart the rules of the relationships as suggested by James. He had promised to be with her till the end of time despite him getting married. He used the common lies men use to dominate women who have wondering and longing hearts and can fall for any lie. He lied how his marriage with Elizabeth was for convenience and a situational one but not his preference. He wanted to have both women in his life but Elizabeth was the one to mother his kids not Eunice.

The fact that Eunice was pregnant haunted him for hours and he realized he hated himself so much hence couldn't stand his circumstance at the moment. He didn't know what to tell both ladies and how to handle the situation. Suicide was the only way out. He took his life that very day having been overwhelmed by so may voices

By

Esther Wavinya

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,hours to like them and a day to love them .Love is when you take the feeling .the passion, the romance in that person and find out you still care for that person.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. What is more painful is to love someone and never have the courage to let them know how you feel. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything. Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right person so that when we meet that person we will appreciate the gift of love . The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. Trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day. 

 

It is true we don’t know what we have till we loss it but it’s also true we don’t know what we have been missing till it happens. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes another opens but so often we look at the closed door so much that we don’t see the one that has been opened for us.

The best kind of friends is the one you can just be with never say a word and leave feeling that was the best moment ever. Giving someone your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Just wait for to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t be content it grew in your heart. It’s funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope

There are things you will love to hear that you will never hear from the person that you will love to hear from. But don’t be deaf not to hear from that person who will say it from their heart.

Never say goodbye if you still want to try. Never give up if you still feel you can go on. Never say you can’t love again. The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience. 

 

Love comes to those who still hope although they have been disappointed. To those who believe although they have been betrayed. To those who have courage to build trust again.

Don’t go for looks they can deceive, don’t go for fragrance it can be washed away. Don’t go for wealth it fades away. The unconditional love is the true love. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes a smile to take to make dark day seem bright

Hope to find that someone who makes you smiles. Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.

By

Esther Wavinya

THE CONFESSION by Mutie Oscar Ghitto

Dear the world,

I have decided to confess every thing today. Am not going to hold back these feelings any more. I want the world to know what I feel; what makes me tick, what makes me move. I believe that confessing is a very important phenomenon. Ask the Catholics about it. I know that it is time I opened  my heart; to let these feelings flow, to fight repression and the double mind that has been keeping me in the dark. Honestly, Am fed up being in the bowels of darkness for this long. Am fed up for holding tight to my fears, being so conservative and refusing to develop. Am fed up of being that kind of a person whose heart is a prison. Am fed up of being paranoid, and never standing my ground. Today is the day to make my feelings known.

As am writing this, am in war; fighting that voice which is telling me to back off. To retrace my steps and tuck my tail. But I refuse. I refuse to be held back by the fear of public outrage. If I shall be stoned for this, then what do I care? We shall all die. I refuse to be held back by the contemplation of regret. If it is regret, trust me that I have regretted more than I can count.I refuse to be held back by the mere thought of embarrassment . If it is being embarrasssed, believe you me, I have been embarrased more than the hairs on your head. Let the pen bleed. Let the emotions flow. I tell you, I will write with permanent ink, for generations and generations to come. I want this piece to be a family possession. That which shall live in the family archives forever.

Am tired of pussyfooting and beating about the bush. Let the tale be told. If it is a bombshell, let it be dropped. Today, I will be careless more than I was or will ever be. Today, I shall bear my soul bear for all of you to see. I shall be an open book from today hence forth. I shall begin by saying that I love her, and I have always denied it. I have been under the prison of denial for a long time now. It is time I broke out. It is time I discard these chains. It time I washed my face and keep that beautiful and cheerful countenance. That is why I scream as audible as I can be to say that I love her. If I go hoarse, its fine by me. I have known dumb men anyway, and they live! If am termed psychotic, perfect! I have been searching for psychosis for along time now. I welcome the tag. Give me time to express myself. Don't you want to see a naked human soul?

My words might be ambiguous, vague and incoherent. But what do I care? I have listened to stammerers before, and to tell you the truth, they still manage to pass their message. I believe am better of. Its only that am emotional today. I believe that I have never been this emotional since I learned letter A.If you filter my words, you will realize that am struggling to put these words together. Can you imagine? Just because of a woman. And you said that women were good for nothings. Oh well! What else shall I say? Shall I talk of how I terribly miss her? Shall I say her name?

I should probably say her name. Isn't it.? I should shout her name so all of you can know her. Isn't it wonderful if you all knew that girl who causes me sleepless nights? wouldn't it be fair if you knew this girl who has been driving me round the bend, making me loose myself? And to say the truth, I have lost my mind. I do not know whether I will ever find it again. I just hope that God, our loving father, the creature of heaven and earth, shall give me the mercies. After all, he is the one who created this creature, or am I lying to myself? You have the right to know her. I believe our very able constitution has made this very clear. Right to know the truth! So, if anyone knows why the water is boiling and tries to to conceal it, let him be brought to book. Why should we sympathize with truth concealers anyway? They are the ones who are making this country lag behind. It is for this fear of the law, this fear that makes me shudder, that will make me tell you the name of this girl. You know, I should not want to see our beautiful country in the muck just because of a tiny little name that could have been mentioned and things went perfectly ok. Or is it had to pronounce Amani? I believe not. C'mon, even if you had a tongue problem, this shouldn't be that hard. Oh! there you go. I have spilt the name. Truthfully I dare say. Without fear or favour. That is the name. You are now free, and within your legal rights to judge me. I shall welcome your judgment. Do not be afraid of anything! I will hold no grudges. Am cool.

Let me tell you of how it all started. So, there was this particular time...Oh! what is wrong with me? I almost forgot the procedure. Once upon a time, I saw this girl, she was watching the sun set on the balcony. I took a closer look at her and I could not believe my eyes. She was very pretty. I am known for my good sight, if anyone wants to disagree with me or hold those thoughts that am being subjective. She was truly pretty. And by the way, I have seen her pictures today. yes. 3rd april. Just two days after fool's day. She's still gorgeous. With that spark in her eyes that has retained its powers of melting me. Where was I? Right, the balcony. I fell in love with her that day. Am still in love, though am not sure whether am in total control of my faculties today. But I believe that even mad man can tell when they are in love. Love is such a strong thing. I did not believe it until today. I used to hold those feelings you're trying to listen to. That love is for the birds. By God, do birds know how to kiss? Let alone the language of love. I tell you. This lady is beautiful. Am thinking of how I will reposes her. She has another man? Thats the reason am practising the sword. You think its for fun? Wait until I slit someone's throat so that you can understand what am talking about.

Amani I love you. Am not saying it to please anyone. I have no one to please anyway. Except you who deserted me when I needed you the most. Please tell that man to back off, that is, if he still loves his life. If he does not, he can hang around. I won't refuse him. Amani, I love you. Am not sure whether you can accomodate mad men. Men mad in love. I cannot help myself. I know you were wrong, but I apologize for making you think wrong about me. You see, the only problem with me is that I can be a weakling sometimes. I allowed people to push me around. To bully me. That is what disgusted you. isn't it? It is what made you run away. Am a bull dog now. Merciless. I will guard you HAPPINESS. Even if it is in my dreams. But what I know is that one day, you shall be in these arms.


      YOURS FAITHFULLY,
                                         JILTED LOVE, WHO HAS COME BACK TO CLAIM HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE.

Why do we Kill? Why War

War won't end until greed does,

and greed won't end until human nature does.

This goes to show that neither side in war are 'the bad guys'

they were just people fighting for what they want.

World peace will never come,

but we can fight without pouring kerosene on children,

burning them alive and shooting rockets and soldiers just for fun.

so much money and life wasted in War

We are brought up in system that breeds evil

Breeds hate against religion and culture

War renders humanity vulnerable

With no where to run to or turn to

Children are subjected to this

we have lost so many children because of war

innocent kids who came to the world to explore

It sickens me to my nerves to witness this

Has humanity turned to anti-life and pro-death?

Villages are destroyed hence a race is wiped out

Men,women and children are butchered with no mercy

One loses all his loved ones and property

cruelty is immense in a war

When you kill you become indifferent

you become cold,paranoid with lost morality

Your soul is haunted and very cold

The people you kill will torture your soul

They live in your head

Lets stop killing for greed

You kill for a system which is inhuman

you kill because of the fear of an individual

whose fears have turned him to anti-life

He brainwashes you to kill another human being

to quest his thirst for power and cruelty

Before you kill that human being

ask yourself why do I kill?

Am I gaining anything from killing?

Is this my purpose for living?

Is this Gods Intention For my being?

Does war solve problems or make them immense?

By 

Esther Wavinya