I asked what the
problem was… never mind I’ll sort it out with madam he said. I thought to
myself, how come you’ll sort out my problems, if any, with another person. But I
wasn’t a full member of this family and my approach to the doctor might be a
form of reprisal to them thus I kept my shut in anticipation.
We slept in the
same room: on the biggest bed I’ve ever seen, big enough to contain six adults,
with a vent I tried to locate. The room was just cold and there was no air conditioner
anywhere my sight. I complained in the middle of the night on how cold it was
and he reduced the flow but I still didn’t see the vent.
Lawrence had a
lovely sleep, I watched him sleep but I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking. I just
thought to myself, why do ladies have to go through such humiliation in getting
married to a man that initially approached them. I didn’t walk up to Lawrence,
he did. So why must I be at the parent’s mercy. A thought came to my head; I’ll
call off the relationship at the slightest provocation from Lawrence and see if
he really loves me. If he comes after me…. then….. Then what I thought. In these
episodes of thought I suddenly remembered I was “AS”. Could the mother come
after us with our genotype as a problem? I know Lawrence is not “SS” but if he
is also “AS”, then we stand a chance of giving birth to a child that would be “SS”.
I did all the permutations in my head and immediately felt like calling my
friend, Dr Linda.
It was 4.30 am and I’ve
not closed my eyes for once. I needed morning to come so that I can plan my
next move. I became optimistic in my thought: how would I manage the
conglomerate of companies when the parents are gone to the land beyond. I would
be the woman to question anyone who is interested in marrying my son in the
next thirty years. The pride of the Archujes’s crown of motherhood would be
worn by me. The world would know ‘there was a woman who came, who saw and
conquered’.
It was Lawrence’s
kiss that woke me up. I had fallen off in sleep within my thoughts. Baby lets
hit the gym, the instructors just sent a word.
I dragged myself off the bed and changed to a sport wear. Just three
long corridors away we were at the gym. It’s a large room with all the
equipment for shaping your body, like they were shaping your future. The room
was also cold and how on earth would one sweat. I asked Lawrence: was this the
life you grew up in? They wake you up to come to the gym? Instructor fashions
out what exercise you would do, hope they won’t bath you? We both laughed as he
said no now. I thought of my house where you must sweep at least thirty minutes
when you wake up, then wipe the furniture for dust, get to the kitchen and make
food for the house before rushing to school. And my parent expected all
distinction. Hmmm they should come and see family. We were twenty minutes into
the aerobics when mummy entered the gym. She wasn’t prepared for exercise because
she was wearing her robe. Two ladies always follow her to take order and dish
them out to appropriate corners.
She came with a
tone of motivation and a smile as I greeted her good morning. Her smile and
wave was an approved one. She hasn’t been too bad but I was just scared of her.
She was in for ten minutes before she excused me out of the gym. We walked the length
and breadth of the compound that looked like a stadium. She showed me everything
inside the house. Anytime I don’t want to exercise fully I just walk round the
compound she said. That’s enough exercise you know. I didn’t say anything, all
my responses were nods. I smelt something was wrong but I couldn’t picture it. The
whole memory of genotype was lost this time with the beauty of the palace I was
shown.
Then she turned to
one of the girls and she gave her a note. We stopped and the ladies moved back,
I knew something was going on. She continued; the doctor gave me a report
yesterday saying your genotype was ‘AS’ and I guess you know my son is ‘AS’
too. I asked him the implication of this and he said your child might be ’SS’. Which
isn’t a good one? Do you understand, I said yes with tears in my eyes. I just
felt it, I wasn’t going to be favoured. I told her I never knew Lawrence was ‘AS’,
which is the truth. My daughter, men are the weakest vessels, so you learn how to
manage them. I called you and not my son because it’s only me and you that can manage
this situation. What should we do at this moment? From doctor’s analysis, we cannot
have this child. Are you suggesting
abortion, I asked?
She took on another
long walk, with an answer not relating to the question. Tracy, you are an
engineer, who has never practiced and might never practice, if married into
this family. Are you aware of that? I said yes. She showed me a calendar with
twelve pages, those are twelve of the companies you’ll be controlling, and
there is at least 35 staff in this compound at any time. Your husband won’t
have time for them, you would. Can you add a child who is a sickle cell to all
these issues before you? At this moment my energy was gone, she sounded like a
mother who knows everything. I didn’t know what to do again. Tears rolled down
my cheeks and in all submission I fell to my knees holding her: mummy what can I
do? She held me up wiped my tears and said: my daughter we are removing this
particular baby. Is that alright by you? I had no other option, thus I said yes………
Lawrence walked into the long corridor and immediately I knew I’ve made a
mistake.
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