Tuesday, May 13, 2014

MY FLOWER BY Symon Oreri Nomizo



My flower,i mean my morning glory
I feel that pride, i will never take side,i will feel sorry
You blossom bright,you love sunlight,your lovely look-lonely
I love your principle, you're just simple,you look noble.
Like a bird,you spread your petal wide
High above the sky,you enjoy the cool breeze what a sky
If you were human,i would fall in love like a real man
A man i mean who can match,feel it back and match.
From zero to a hero,i think am a big weight kilo
Have taken care of you,like a chick have fed you
Your fruits are sweet and bearable,your bitterness are also edible
I love your sweet scent,i think you must be heaven sent.
BY
‪#‎SymonThePoet‬

Monday, May 12, 2014

OPEN LETTER TO SAUTI SOL




Where do I first begin with this(taking a deep breath as I watch the “Nishike” Online.) Am in alpha state of mind so are many women. Just in one week this song has managed to make the ladies happy and men angry.The video is banned but there aint no ban if we can view it on you tube.Sauti Sol,you knew very well this video will be banned,and you went ahead and did it.This is where we say-'tumeshikwa psychologically.many listeners are now calling our local station to say they love Kenya-Do you know what you just did!Women cant get enough after watching it over and over again.You need to open a school for our men.Bien being the lead.The ladies are drooling.

For the longest time Kenyan men have been bleating incoherently about our weaves,the shape of our bodies,our heels,make ups,bla bla bla.....They normally  say“unajiringa na uko size 1” yet they are one packed ... Now we have a match-up courtesy of You guys.The men will no longer dominate us in regards to how we look physically because we now have a weapon-...'get Sauti Sol body and then tell me what I should look like'No steroids-gym please.

First and foremost thank you for the “Nishike” video.Do you know how happy you made us the female species be!We are left glued to the screen.Ask me what words I know from the song-Only Nishike.We love listening to the video with the sound muted.It gives us intrinsic reinforcements. For so long in Kenya we never had eye-candy from our local entertainers hence traveled internationally online to appease the vanity of female wishes. The entertainment industry in Kenya has always been gratifying the sexual impulses of men.They should use you guys in the Vaseline ads,we want billboards of you so that we-the women can also cause accidents while driving on our highway by being distracted by your billboards.We need something to carry our attention during the traffic jam.For Long we have always had scantily clad women on huge roadside billboards,our men have been hitting the car in front of them because they were gawking at a beautiful damsel.It is now our time.


After you released a sizzling new video early this month— where you showed off chiseled bodies alongside semi-naked ladies,gladdened our hearts. What stole our souls was Bien Aime Baraza (his sexy move is 49 seconds into the video), It rekindled our yearn for irresistible sexual impulse taking us way back in 2001 when Tyrese did the Baby Boy comedy drama(the baby boy sex scene).We are left having exaggerated images of the cut part of the video.This has subjected us to want the same treatment in our bedroom but seems impossible.You know our men have one pack or slim body which is concentrated on the belly part as The capital Fm nishike version.Sauti Sol you have left us to ask questions amongst girlfriends if their guys can do the baby boy as done by Bien.Do you think one pack can be able to do it.This has made us run to the gym(impulse planning) so that we can hook up with guys their for Nishike moments.Lifting weight ,going to the gym is now called sautisoling.




You have made us increase our demands on physical appearance of the guys who want to date us the singles.For the married ones-their wives have started sweet talking them to go to the gym even promising to accompany them.You have brought a new lifestyle which I hope will be here to stay.Gym.Its all about the abs.The one pack guy who used to floss in the clubs as many women went for them as a sign of being loaded pocket-wise are now loosing their ways in the woman's eyes.We have started looking for guys with nice abs like six pack or eight pack,broad, muscular shoulders .I cannot tell a lie, abs are PRETTY important,they make a woman play with them like a Spanish guitar.

Sauti Sol,You are now officially in trouble.You need to hire more than enough bodyguards because when we meet you at Bachus,Galileo,Alliance Francaise we will demand you to stay topless and if you don't coercion will be the way to go.We will tear-off your shirts.You have awakened an animal that has always been rendered dead in women. We have been listening to your songs which make us want to cuddle and drift into sweet daydream of first love.For Nishike the notch is higher-the sexy dial a song.So for this reason we as women of Kenya,we demand to have you walk shirtless in the street of Nairobi and its environs.Create your own Tv channel where you will be the news anchor.We are tired of having the female anchors flaunting for our men to be stirred up.We are also becoming visual.Open train up school for the men so that we don't get limited to you.The Kenyan male have so many eye-candies from socialites to Anchors.We now have you.When we go to the malls we want to scope some nice eye candy trained by you.

Lasty for the media justice tour,I suggest you fire your PR.We expected you to flaunt the confident, shirtless, buffed, hot bodies on the Trend.You killed our long to see you live without shirts.Those shirts don't look good on you.Abs do.
I don't mind watching your hot shirtless selves again and again.
Sincerely
Your die-hard fun
By

DILEMMA by Sen Keli

It’s no use anymore,
Holding them back; will just let the tears flow,
Coz imma feel relief for sure,
Even for a minute or more,
Coz the pain is too much to hold.

I stare into space,
As if in a haze,
Feeling trapped in a maze,
Trying to figure out some ways,
I could untangle myself from this web.

Ooh shit; what a mess,
I got me into; what a shame,
And I thought I’d got it all under control,
Like a fireman handling a hose,
Buh sadly I was completely off.

I’m so deep, like sinking in quicksand,
No matter how hard I try,
I can’t lift myself up,
All I hope now, is for a magician to wave his wand,
N I’ll go back to the tearless times,
Feeling less times, heartless times.
By
 Sen Keli

Sunday, May 11, 2014

SOMETHING I WISH THAT ALL MEN KNEW byOscar

“I came, I saw, I conquered.” A man will always whisper this saying, sipping his mug of coffee somewhere in a balcony as he watches the setting sun. His heart is overcome with joy and pride, so he lifts his hand in the air, and then he lets it fall on his chest. He then repeats the act once again, this time with more energy and zest. The corners of his mouth then begin to twitch, so that a naughty grin is born, with words escaping his mouth “another fish for my net”. All this will happen, whilst on the other side of the world, a woman will be in her bedroom, the door locked, laying on her bed as she holds tight to her pillow. She then sheds tears of joy, feeling the love that she is drowning in so that she swears to never leave the side of this man she has met. This man she is in love with. Then she fishes out her diary and circles the day’s date. Here, she squiggles a few strong words, words that echo the kind of feelings she nurses in her heart; a heart that has been conquered, a heart that has submitted, a heart that will never be the same again.

The following days will be warm days, days when the air feels cooler, days when the wind feels gentler, days when the hours are more generous with their time. The mugs of coffee are emptied more often and the balcony is out of wear from the many visits, a condition that it shares with the chest. On the other side, the pillow becomes wet and the diary pages are inked to the very remaining space. A heart is bursting with pride; a heart is bursting with love. The net is bursting from the weight of excess fish, which make more fish become slaves. They become slaves of a darling whose inside is a Lucifer, yet they know not, for when the net is cast, it looks so beautiful and attracting, yet it is the very source of death.

Days trudge on. The woman visits her friends often. Her face has those writings that spell happiness. She lets her friends know that she is in love, that she has met the man of her dreams, the apple of her eye. Her parents are even aware, that their daughter is now tired of their nest and that she will be flying away to distant lands whither she will build a home. For this, they are happy and cry with joy, for a daughter was well raised, knowing that their maker has fulfilled his promise. The woman goes to bed, and she is soon bombarded with beautiful dreams, of a big nice wedding, of beautiful children, a happy home and a loving husband. She wakes up happier, for she knows that the day is coming when her ring less finger shall be adorned by a beautiful diamond ring, a sign of love from another soul, a soul which she loves dearly.

On the other side of the world, the man is a bee. He makes gorgeous suits adorn him such that when he enters the casino, all ladies take notice. And they do. He is a smooth player, the kind that is patient with their prey; the kind that will broadly smile at you so that you mistake that smile for genuine affection and before you can even discern it, you are under his spell, another fish for his net. His behavior soon graduates into a habit, an addictive habit which he cannot survive without. For this, he ups his game and more women are in his grip. This is his happiness. He has become a fisher of women.

One day, he will call the woman and tell her that he was not interested in her, that she mistook his generosity, and that she misunderstood his kindness for love. It is at that juncture when high aspirations come tumbling down. The tower of happiness is but an ugly mess. The woman runs away in tears, she cannot be consoled. The woman is such devastated, that she contemplates suicide. Meanwhile, the man is the happiest of all men when he sees her tears. It reminds him that he is still a man, that he has powers, that he is simply the best, the lady whisperer.

Sitting on her bed, she makes a mess of her diary, memories cannot let her be. The woman does not forget those sweet words that were said to her, those words that broke her defense and made her vulnerable. It makes her cry even more, but her family is there for her. With time she heals and she is in love again. She is in love with a man who cares for her, a man who cannot accept to see her in grief. A home is built, and for eternity, the couple is happy.

On the other side, women are flocking the man’s world such that he does not know what to do with them. He is a happy man, the game has proven to be worth, yet the passing of time has escaped his mind. He has dug so deep a hole, such that he cannot get out. He remembers the women he has hurt, women whose tears made his heart lip with joy. He remembers everything. He is now determined to get out of the hole, but he digs deeper instead, so that he reaches the netherworld. So that on the heaped earth lays an epitaph. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, but the words were heard not.”
By 

Friday, May 9, 2014

THE BEAUTIFUL ONE IS ALREADY BORN

It will never be an honor to beat your chest, if you are a boy.
 Chest beating is supposed to be for real men.
 Real men who have seen the beautiful one. 
The beautiful one is already born, and real men have seen her. 
She is the dreaded killer brew, 
for she can blind, kill, paralyze or cause other lethal harms only with her hips.
 When the beautiful one swings her hips, 
like this and like that, like a tree on a windy day
 men loose memory and women abhor their maker. 
Real men have seen her, but they cannot beat their chests,
 for the sight of her thighs make them drop dead.
 Her thighs are not just thighs. 
They are the thighs of the beautiful one
. Those that look like the inside of a ripe mango fruit. Juicy and fleshy.
 When she walks, they shake as if they are dancing so that men join in music, 
stepping on their toes,
 loosing their heads and eventually dying.
 Surely, the government should do something, 
for the thighs of the beautiful one are a security threat.
 They are the dread al-shabaab. The beautiful one is already born.
By 
Oscar Shakespeare Ghitto

Festus Mbuva Midnight Runs by Festus Kasyoka Mbuva

Sometimes the story finds you and such was the case last night when I headed out for my usual night running. I wasn't even a mile from my house when a young lady who seemed to "walking the streets" stopped me and asked if I was related to Shaka Zulu. I was about to explain that Shaka has been dead for a while yadda yadda but swiftly switched tact and asked why after she gave me a warm hug. Shaka was her frequent customer and was late for their session today. I wasn't going to believe such rubbish but this lady seemed apart from your usual Lowell street walker. She was witty and willy and fully engaging in a conversation and perhaps strangest of all to me, she was sober. I tucked him my phone and walked with her to her stairs where she had been seating. I had questions of my own but I first wanted to hear her story which I still found bogus. Shaka was his real name and drove a minivan she adamantly claimed. She didn't know what country he came from but had been her customer for a while and only came to her(no pun intended) after work around midnight. Now her story was starting to make sense and I found myself sitting down between to street ladies. She told me of her story from a small town in New Hampshire where she had a baby early and a failed marriage. She talked of her childhood dreams of being a lawyer and how she hit rock bottom at around 25. I didn't ask how and why but I adjusted her estimated age to now around 28.
When faced with a new situation which draws or demands my interest, I tend to go mute and listen while absorbing words and the environment. Her conversation was frequently interrupted by her peer who seemed more interested in the date Shaka was bringing later on. She was less articulate and least intriguing so Id politely reverse the conversation to Shaka`s lady. Surely nobody would drive into this dark side street and park their car I presumed . But I was dead wrong as soon this minivan pulled up and a gentleman my new friend ran towards it. It seemed these two had a deeper connection that john/commercial worker kind. As soon as both gentlemen alighted and we came face to face, I realized I knew both very well and for what felt like a minute or two we just starred at each other. I quickly broke the silence off with a hug and a smile and joked of how I was hoping to get a massage for my swollen ankle today but they were getting a better massage for their bulging organs.
After sharing a quick and uneasy laugh, it was time for me to bolt but not before my new friend offered to drive me home with "Shaka`s" ( Now I knew his real name) minivan since I was visibly limping. I declined but asked her to walk me a few meters. I had one more question...." besides the obvious, what else do you guys do coz it seems like you know each other well?".... " Oh he just cries about his domestic problems and loneliness. Sometimes I feel like I am his mother even though hes twice my age. " ... Now I knew her real age...shes 31!!!! I bade everyone goodbye and limped home to finish off my Chinese food.

By 
Festus Kasyoka Mbuva

KAMBA LAND by Festus Kasyoka Mbuva

So I've talked much about how wives are stolen in Kamba Land,if you cannot afford dowry but very little about returning them if things go south. Well my friends that's a complex story. The girl's family can feel slighted and decide on revenge of some form... Usually involving some brute force so many men opt to stick it out . What happens when one is hell-bend on returning one especially if she's made his life a living hell?
That was the case in the year 2000 when a friend'a girlfriend decided to invite themselves to their house. We had all gone to college after graduating from Kitondo High school together. Nairobi life awaited us and with it came a different kind of women than village life. Diversity was the norm rather than the strange. Many of my friends broke up with their high school sweethearts as their lives evolved and feelings / life philosophies varied and shifted. But one girl wasn't going to take this lying down and decided to do something about it. I'll leave names out since there's quite a lot of people on Facebook who know this story well. She moved into his home while he was in campus hundreds of miles away and essentially became his common law wife. She was good with the in laws, neighbors and everyone else but she was crazy to say the least. She would grill him on his every move and many times things got so awkward he'd stay at my house for days ok end. That got worse when he met a very smart luhya girl at one of the college parties. To be honest, we were all after he but he got there first. True to our pact, we would stay away from that point on and such we did. But now she wanted to meet his parents and he was smitten . As a group, which extended to thousands of village mates, we had a general consensus that he had made a right choice. But how do you get rid of the one at home? That would prove easier said than done.
BY 


At this point, she was becoming more insecure and that only served to worsen her grip on his movements. They call that in America stalking.... Not to the extend of medusa but pretty close. We got together for our friend. Not many choices were on the table and we anticipated retribution from her side of Kamba Land if they found our action reprehensible . We almost certainly pay up a few cows but most worrisome was the real chance of a physical confrontation.
We decided to send our crazy neighbor Muema , a living modern Tarzan to do our dirty job for a small fee. Intimidating , well over 6.6 feet tall and powerful, he was a force to reckon with when u add a few unhinged screws. His loyalty to our group made this a safe option but also brought upon heavy risks if she rebelled and fought the "aided" trip.
This had to happen at night when parents are usually asleep as it also brings it's own set of problems..... But that's a story for another day. This was problematic and impractical.
Just when we felt completely helpless and almost urged our neighbor to suck it up and settle, an idea spring up from Mbeke, one of the most athletic and intuitive village boy. The girl was highly superstitious so why not essentially cover ourselves in white sheets then in the dead of the night carry her off after convincing her that we were "aimu" which means ancestors spirits . Almost everyone agreed that this would be risky and dumb but so far it was the most of ingenious plans available. She wouldn't return if she thought ancestors spirits didn't want her there. She most likely wouldn't resist much either but that was debatable .
That night, our friend left the door open and at exactly midnight, about 20 "aimus" showed up. She woke up shaken , tried to wake him up in vain and in low baritone, Muema explained that this was her ancestors and that her bf couldn't hear or see us to assist but she would go with us as this place was very bad for her. She squirmed but not much else from that. The dog was barking so we had to trek on as soon as possible . She walked slow and almost got unconvinced by the gate at which point Muema put her on his shoulders and got into a brisk walk. 12 miles or no talking, we were by her fathers compound where we let her wall herself in before we dissipated into the savannah grasslands only to meet up half a mile downstream near waani river. I was still laughing at how easy this was. We walked to mbumbuni to get a beer where bars were still open but also to return the sheets from the local lodge where we had rented them. We also were careful to wear print less shoes as elders can track your feet or shoe print with stunning accuracy. Somehow, we had followed through with a stupid idea successfully. It wouldn't be our last .... Or the last time we depended on luck in our escapades .

By
Festus Kasyoka Mbuva